


Excepting Anxiety

by RandomSlasher (Randomslasher)



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-19 22:12:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12419304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Randomslasher/pseuds/RandomSlasher
Summary: Roman is having trouble with the latest Sanders Sides script.





	Excepting Anxiety

After the fifth time Roman messed up his lines, Thomas decided they could all use a break. 

There was no mistaking the frustration in his voice as he said it, though, and Roman cringed as their host sent him a glance that was a mixture of bewilderment and strained patience. 

“We’ll try again in a little while,” Thomas said. “I’m going to go get something to eat. Patton, you want to help me?” 

“Sounds good, kiddo,” Patton agreed, though not before reaching out and squeezing Roman’s shoulder comfortingly. “I think a few cookies are definitely in order.” 

Logan watched them heading into the kitchen, then turned to Roman. “You do seem to be having a difficult time today,” he stated. “Would it perhaps help if I were to run lines with you?”  

“No, I’m--I’m good,” Roman mumbled, waving him off.

Logan frowned. “Really? By all appearances you are anything but. I would be more than willing to--”

“I’m _fine,_  Logan,” Roman snapped. “Let it go, okay? I just...I just need a minute to think. Clear my head.” Guilt followed sharply on the heels of his outburst, and he immediately offered Logan a tight, apologetic smile. “Really,” he said. “I’m fine, I promise. Okay?”

Logan hesitated, considering him for a second longer, then shrugged. “Very well,” he said. “Let me know if you change your mind.” 

With that, he turned to join Thomas and Patton in the kitchen.

Roman slumped, sinking back into the mindspace commons and flopping to the couch, lowering his head into his hands. 

Damn. What the hell was _wrong_  with him today? Why couldn’t he get his act together and just...just say his lines? He’d _written_  the damned things. And frankly they weren’t that difficult. 

So why couldn’t he get them _right_? 

A soft _whooshing_  sound was the only warning he had before the couch cushion beside him sank a little under someone’s weight. A low, familiar voice, tinged with amusement, said, “What’s up, Princey?” 

Roman didn’t look up. “Who sent you?” he grunted. “Logan?” 

“Patton, actually,” Virgil replied. “Though if he hadn’t Logan probably would have. Or Thomas.” 

“Ugh.” Roman sat back on the couch, arms falling into his lap as he stared at the ceiling. “Yes, I suppose I deserve that. I’ve not been at my best today.” 

“So they told me. So what’s going on, anyway?” 

Roman shook his head, then let it tip to the side so he could see Virgil at last. The anxious side was watching him, head tilted curiously, hair falling over his face. He hadn’t put on his foundation, since he wasn’t going to be filming today, and Roman could see the scattered freckles across his nose, and the occasional acne scars that marred his skin. 

Virgil was always the one who bore Thomas’s scars. 

Roman’s heart tightened.  

“I don’t know,” he said at last, looking back up at the ceiling and blinking rapidly. “I just...I can’t seem to get into the right mindset for the video today.” 

“Yeah, about that,” Virgil said, voice teasing as he shifted to face Roman on the couch, folding his long, lanky legs beneath himself. “What gives? I always figured this was the part you were born to play.” 

Roman shot him a glower. “Don’t,” he said quietly. “It’s not funny.” 

“C’mon. It’s a _little_ funny.” 

“It’s _not,”_ Roman growled. “I have to argue that we’re better off without you. That we don’t _need_  you. I have to make it seem like we don’t want you back. It’s _not funny_.” 

Virgil looked surprised at the vehemence of Roman’s outburst. “Okay, okay,” he said, lifting a hand. “You’re right. It’s not funny. But what’s the big deal? It’s not like you really feel that way, right? It’s just a script.” 

“Of _course_  I don’t,” Roman snapped. “But...” 

“But?” 

“But I _did_ , once,” Roman said, and there it was: the rotten, shameful heart of the matter. “Back...back then. When this happened for _real_.” 

Virgil was silent for a long moment, and Roman braced himself for the other side’s response. But instead of getting upset, Virgil simply slid closer and nudged his shoulder to Roman’s. 

“Hey,” he said softly. “Princey...c’mon. It’s okay. That was _years_ ago. We were just kids.” 

“That doesn’t excuse how I treated you,” Roman said, refusing to look at Virgil. “I was beastly to you. Not like a prince at all.” 

Virgil sighed. “Well, maybe not,” he relented. “But I wasn’t that great to you either, right? And anyway, I’ve forgiven you. I forgave you ages ago. Why can’t you do the same?” 

“Because...it wasn’t _right_ , Verge!” Roman surged to his feet, pacing the commons, while Virgil watched him from the couch. “This script--I’d forgotten how awful I was to you. I treated you like dirt _\--”_

 _“_ It wasn’t _that_  bad.”

“--and I hurt you. Again and again. When all you ever wanted to do was keep us all safe, and protect Thomas.” Roman turned toward Virgil, who was staring at him in surprise. 

“Princey...” Virgil shook his head. “ _Roman_ ,” he started again, rising to his feet. “Look. I get it. It...sort of sucks to have to relive something about your past that you’re not proud of. Especially when that’s not _you_ anymore. I mean, I can definitely relate.” Here, Roman cringed again, because--because damn if that wasn’t true: Virgil had been the antagonist in the Sides series from the start, and he’d borne it stoically enough. So why couldn’t Roman? 

“Hey, no,” Virgil said. “I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, Roman. My point is--we’re telling a bigger story here, right?” 

Roman looked at his feet, unable to meet Virgil’s gaze, and shrugged. “I suppose.” 

“And if the story is going to have the impact we want it to have, then we have to show everyone how we got to where we are now. Right?” 

“Well...yes.” 

“So this is an important step,” Virgil concluded. “It needs to happen.” He reached out and took Roman’s hand, squeezing gently. “And besides,” he added, smiling when Roman finally looked up at him, “you’re doing me a favor here.” 

Roman blinked, confused. “I am?” 

“Yeah. You’re casting _yourself_ as the villain so you can give me a redemption arc. If you were really a bad guy, you wouldn’t be willing to do that. Right?” 

“I...” Roman blinked again, then huffed, shrugging. “I guess I never thought of it like that,” he said at last.

“Well. Start thinking.” Virgil grinned again, releasing his hand after giving it one more brief squeeze. Then, to Roman’s shock, Virgil moved in and wrapped his arms around Roman’s shoulders in a brief but sincere hug. 

“So. You ready to go try again?” he asked when he drew away.

“I...yes,” Roman said, smiling. “I think maybe I am.” 

“Want me to come up and watch?” 

Roman arched his eyebrows in surprise. “You’d do that?” he said. “I thought you were looking forward to having a day off.” 

“Eh. It’s boring without you all here,” Virgil shrugged. Then he smirked. “Besides, you guys need me. Without me, you all worry _way_ too much.” 

Roman laughed, startled, but feeling a weight easing from his chest. “I suppose we’d best leave it to the expert,” he agreed, grinning and shyly offering Virgil the crook of his elbow. “All right, then. Shall we join the others?” 

Virgil agreed, looping his hand through Roman’s arm and letting Roman draw them back up to Thomas’s apartment. And when they resumed filming a little while later (after sharing a plate of oreos and milk with the others), Virgil sat on the floor beside Roman, carefully out of sight of the camera, and wrapped a hand around Roman’s ankle, giving him an encouraging squeeze whenever he was about to falter. 

In the end, Roman managed to gave a rather convincing performance. Because this was for Virgil. And Virgil deserved nothing less. 

* 


End file.
